Tag: family

Emotional Support Animals

Republicans Introduce Bill to Get Puppies for Veterans

Currently – an emotional support animal is a companion animal which provides therapeutic benefit, such as alleviating some symptoms of the disability, (Such as PTSD.) Emotional support animals are typically dogs, but may include other animals. A person with a verifiable disability can be prescribed an emotional support animal by a physician or medical professional, and will be afforded protection under the United States federal law.

These are the legal aspects of emotional support animals. But, from the personal aspects of the veterans who have known life with an emotional support animal, it has often been a life saver.

My son, a marine wounded in Iraq eleven years ago, has had an emotional support dog, Rocco, from the time he was released from the hospital, and assigned to a house on base with his wife, at Fort Sam Houston Army Base in San Antonio, TX.

Rocco died a few weeks ago. When Aaron called, it was to let me know a member of our family had gone. We had seen Rocco aging, but still, we were not prepared to let him go…

As we talked about how Rocco had been with Aaron through so much of his life, we were amazed at how that marine dog had been there to help Aaron through some pretty tough times, as well as the good. Unconditional love between those two was evident to all.

The companionship of a dog can make the difference in a veterans decision to keep moving forward. Rocco had been with Aaron through years of surgeries, the birth of his two children, a devastating divorce, and the challenges of becoming a single parent. His 9-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son never knew a time in their lives when Rocco wasn’t with them.

Rocco was with Aaron when nobody else was around, the silent times, the hardest times. He was there when Aaron struggled with the emotional and physical pain from injuries sustained during his service in Iraq. Rocco was there when he was filled with joy and pride as he brought his daughter, then his son, home from the hospital. And he was there through the devastating dissolution of his marriage shortly after the birth of his son.

Rocco stood with him as they watched over those two children when Aaron took on the full-time job of being a single parent. At Christmas time there was always a stocking hanging on the mantle for Rocco too. He was there as Aaron’s children grew and went off to school each morning. And sat at attention next to him, as they stood in the front yard watching for them to appear around the corner on their way back home. Both greeting them as if they had been gone for years and had crossed the Sahara desert to reach their destination.

This marine dog has earned his stripes, and a salute for a job well done. This world needs more Rocco’s to stand by the side of our warriors. I ask that you support legislation in your states, as well as at the federal levels, to recognize and support the importance of the need for these special companions to our heroes.

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Rocco, you will be missed…

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Here We Are

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Well, Veterans Day 2015 has come and gone. Actually, it was a weeklong celebration of gratitude for what our veterans have given for us all. With all we did, every place we went, the people we met, the thing that stood out beyond anything else were the veterans themselves.

I love to stand back and watch as one veteran approaches another–whether they have met before or not– and without hesitation they reach out with an automatic acceptance and a camaraderie of spirit, which those of us on the “outside” cannot comprehend.

We try to see inside the heart of our war fighters–our sons and daughters, our spouses, our family members, our friends–as we try to pry from their shielded memories, from those thoughts that haunt them, wanting desperately to understand that which we cannot.

What we can do is simple. We can listen. We can observe. On one occasion, I was attending an event where there were wounded warriors and caregivers mingling within a crowded room. A room that was buzzing with warriors coming together with a release of spirit that only happens within the ranks of those who have served. And the caregivers huddling together to share their own joys and burdens. Again a closed group that only exists because of circumstances that redefined their own lives.

At one point I was standing in a hallway, waiting on a friend, when a young woman in uniform entered and stood across from me. I looked at her and saw someone who was desperately trying to hold down a full-blown panic attack. All she said was, “There are so many people.” I asked her to breathe with me. In through the nose and out through the mouth. We continued this breathing in unison for a couple of minutes. She watched me, as I watched her, with each motion in this simple taking of each breath.

Everything outside of that hall disappeared for a few moments. That was what she needed. Time to reach inside and find that strength within herself, which she had lost sight of in that crowded room. We parted not knowing each other’s names, only a shared moment of awareness.

That is the way we can help. We don’t need to know the why or the what. All we need to do is listen and observe. The answer will become clear. Then we act. And a bond is made.

NOVEMBER SPECIAL

DO YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AND GIVE BACK TO VETERANS!!!

For every one of my books purchased through Amazon, or myself, during the month of November,

$1.00 will be donated to THE BOB WOODRUFF FOUNDATION

and $1.00 will be donated to OPERATION MEND

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THE OTHER SIDE OF WAR–PAPERBACK ONLY

A MOTHER’S SIDE OF WAR–PAPERBACK OR HARDCOVER

Contact me by email- alwaysamarinemom@yahoo.com or text-(405)818-7490

Operation Mend

Some of you have never heard of Operation Mend. It is one of the smaller charitable organizations, and it is based at UCLA. If you have read A Mother’s Side of War or The Other Side of War then you know how this organization was founded. Their focus is to treat the most severely wounded and disfigured post 9/11 veterans.

Throughout the chapters that deal with the founding and the purpose of Operation Mend, you will find this is a very unique organization. They not only treat the warrior, but they help to heal their families too. How do they do this? With the love and compassion that comes from the Buddy Family program.

Aaron was the first patient of Operation Mend. And as Willie Giest on the Today Show said,”Aaron has become the face of Operation Mend.” That is a literal statement. The physicians had to rebuild Aaron’s face. This took about 25 surgeries and millions of donated time and money? This brought the number of surgeries to 64 that Aaron has endured.

Marine combat correspondent Cpl. Aaron Mankin was badly burned by a roadside bomb in Iraq, ten years ago. He was wearing his googles when the Amphibious Assault Vehicle (AAV) exploded. These saved his eyes from the fire. But the burns below the googles were severe, as were the burns on both arms and hands.

Without the generous donation of time from the surgeons, and donated monies for the care of this nations wounded warriors, I can honestly say that our lives would be so much less in so many ways. I say we, because while Aaron received the best medical care this country has to offer, I was being cared for by our Buddy Family. When Aaron was up to it, after a surgery, we were spoiled by the original Buddy Family.

We were the first to enter this program that didn’t have a name yet. It did not take long for the perfect name to emerge. And the Buddy Family program grew as more veterans came to seek treatment. Volunteers all over the Los Angles area were calling  to volunteer, to open their homes and hearts to a wounded warrior and their family. This helped to bring families together to heal.

For the rest of the story on Aaron’s recovery and our family’s healing, purchase a book through Amazon. For every book purchased in the month of November, $1.00 will be donated to Operation Mend and $1.00 will go to the Bob Woodruff foundation. That is $2.00 that will be donated from the sale of A Mother’s Side of War (Hardcover or Paperback) and The Other Side of War (Paperback only) rom Amazon throughout the month of November. The perfect Christmas gift!!!

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I Found My Voice

“I found my voice,” is the statement that I have heard most often from the caregivers of our wounded warriors. I have even said it myself. My son stayed up all night when he read the manuscript for my book. He did not remember everything in those early weeks of his recovery. When he came to the chapter where I fired his army doctor, in an army hospital, on an army base, because I had “found my voice,” he asked if I REALLY did??? Yes, I did. It did not matter that I didn’t have the authority, my son’s welfare was all the authority I needed.

The majority of caregivers are wives, spouses, significant others, who have found themselves thrust into an unexpected role that is impossible to imagine. Some caregivers that I have come into contact with are angry, and others are just plain scared. So many of them have sent their loved ones off to war just to have them returned back in a state that they have trouble defining. Some have physical injuries, others have post traumatic stress issues, and many are plagued with both.

There are times when all the medical needs and the psychological issues are so overwhelming that the families are at risk of not surviving, and many do not. The “leaders” of their homes have difficulty in just dealing with their own lives let alone thinking about the running of their households. That’s when the wives are put in the position of having to take care of their children, their financial dealings, and their husbands needs, all while working outside the home, which can be devastating.

Think for a moment, about marrying your high school sweetheart, having a child or two, and learning to live the military life. Moving frequently isn’t conducive to forming close friendships. As they watch their husband, their best friend, leave for war, never do they consider that the person who would return home might not be the same person who left months before. War changes all…

The preparations have been made in case the war fighter does not survive. The paperwork, the wills, the last wishes have all been recorded. Somehow, it never enters our minds that severe injury could be the outcome. That they may need to redefine their future, the future of their family, the future of their children. The needs of their wounded are now their first consideration. For many this is more than they can bear, and the marriages fail.

It is our responsibility to lift up the staggering number of families that are in jeopardy. With each warrior who becomes isolated, suicide becomes an option they consider. Can you live with this outcome? I can not. Operation Mend is one organization that is taking on the task of helping these “at risk” warriors. The Bob Woodruff Foundation and Operation Homefront are others that reach out to warrior families. Other organizations like IAVA have hot lines set up, staffed 24/7, to talk with the warrior or their family members when life spirals out of control. If you can gift to any crises organization, then you must. For their sake and yours.

When you give of yourself to any wounded warrior and their family, you will find that your own heart will begin to heal in a place that you didn’t even know was in need.

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Our Scars Our Choice

Our scars, inside or out, only show where we have been. But, they do not dictate where we are going. That is our choice. Choose well. Be an example. Share where you have been. Give.

When Boys Become Solders, Life Becomes History

I have heard and read this statement many times. But when it became my son, my marine, only then did I feel the power in this simple phrase.

When our children, our spouses, our friends, go to fight battles to secure freedom, their lives, as well as ours, become so much more than we could have ever imagined. I’m not just talking about my son, about our family, I’m talking about all of our warriors and their loved ones.

My youngest child, Marine Cpl. Aaron P. Mankin, has been thrust into the media spotlight in a way that we could never have antisapated. Aaron has a natural ability to put into words the hard truths that we all need to try and understand. With his wit, and unexpected delivery, he makes us laugh as he draws us in to the reality of the wounded warriors life. He is making history.

As you listen to Aaron’s captivating personality, you find that you no longer see the scars that he proclaims to be badges of honor. All warriors who return home have their own scars that need to heal. These may be scars that are visible, but the majority of veterans have scars that can not be seen. This fact will be written in our history books.

These unseen scars carry the devastating power to destroy individuals and their families. We must become a nation that takes on the responsibility of helping these warriors who suffer from PTSD. If we do not reach out to these warriors, to these families, and help in any way possible, then we are murders through our complacency. Yes, I said we are murders. This could be our history.

If we turn our backs on the fact that death by suicide is claiming a warrior every hour of every day, then we are nothing! We have no future as a country, as a society, as a community, or as a family. We are nothing without compassion. Compassion to reach out and help our veterans. Is this the kind of history lesson you want your children to learn in school?

It is in our hands as individuals to make that contact, to listen with an understanding ear, to watch for the signs that are leading those who suffer down a dark and lonely road. We must be a light in that darkness. If not you…then who? We make our own history.

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War Changes Lives

Everyday those who have been changed by war struggle. When a warrior is injured, there is a multitude of family, friends, and communities who are forever changed. The roadside bomb that tore through my sons life, tore through mine, and all those who love him as well. We are the ones you don’t see, the ones who were left behind, the ones who are dealing with our own wounds, while caring for our nations wounded.

We must ask ourselves, “How am I going to live my life today.” We can’t change our yesterdays, tomorrow is a day away, so, today is where we can choose to make a difference.

Live your life today without regret, put yesterday behind you, and look forward to your tomorrow with peace.

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What Makes Us Family

I have read statements like: Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.

This sounds a little one sided. Family isn’t always blood, this I agree with completely. But if you are the kind of person who openly accepts others as they are, then you will be accepted. If you freely invite others into your life, then you will be invited into their lives. If you would do anything to bring a smile to someones face, then you will have family beyond measure.

Some of my closes family members are not related to me by blood, but by bonds. The bonds we make with friends from school, or with those we work closely beside, or with others that we share a common life experience, all can become our closes family members. And in this age of technology, sometimes we form bonds with others that we have never met in person.

I have seen how some of our military families have a bond between them that is stronger than they have with blood family members. They share a common experience that cannot be understood completely by others. Even within the military, their life experiences form different bonds.

The wounded warrior community forms bonds very different, and more complex, than service members in general. Depending on what types of injuries and where they are treated brings like families together. For example: The wife, or mother, of a warrior will reach out to another wife, or mother, who has come through those hospital doors, to comfort and to try and help guide them. Comforting is a way of surviving emotionally, especially when faced with their families uncertain future.

I believe that if we reach out to others that we come into contact with everyday, if we open our own doors to let others into our lives, if we make ourselves available to others needs, then we have the possibility of making someone else’s journey through this life a little easier.

Bonds within bonds, now that is where true families live.

This post is dedicated to  organizations like the Bob Woodruff Foundation, Operation Mend, and Operation Homefront who sponsor retreats for the wives and mothers of wounded warriors. They all bring us together so that we may heal.

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Sarah Jenkins and Diana Mankin Phelps, Operation Homefront’s San Antonio retreat 2014.