THE GIFT

I wrote this back in July. I think it’s message for our new Commander-and-Chief, is an important one.

I have been trying to write this “Independence Day” message for a couple of weeks. And frankly, I have been struggling. Then, a new connection on LinkedIn sent me a message and through our exchange, I was inspired. If not me, who? I wrote at the end of my message, a reference to the firework displays. The veterans who have seen war, who have fought battles, our warriors, struggle during those fifteen minutes of, “Bombs Bursting in Air.” For many it is terrifying. The noise can throw them back in time when there were real bombs exploding, real danger, real loss of life, real friends dead. We are a young country with many wounds to heal. But, we are strong and need compassionate leaders.

Out history of the emphasis we put on this day of the year, to celebrate our nations freedom, to honor all veterans from that first day when we declared ourselves an independent nation in 1776, is phenomenal! We are a young nation at 240 years. But, we are a strong nation who needs strong leaders.

There will be family reunions, picnics, barbecues, parades, concerts, and baseball games in every backyard, small town, city, and state where people can gather. Th months of preparations for this single day, to show our patriotism is nothing short of monumental. We are a young country. But, we are strong and need righteous leaders.

This one day of the year has been stretched into a week, or more, of honoring our veterans in various ways. All the ball parks have a veteran throwing out that first pitch. There are charitable organizations honoring veterans with special events. And some families are gathering to remember the one that won’t be with them this year…We are a young nation, but, we are strong and the price has been high. We need honorable leaders.

All this attention to the veterans walking among us today, warms my heart deeper than any of you will ever know. Some of you have similar feelings from your own circumstances, and some of you stand proud that one of yours has given their livesvso we can keep this day of freedom sacred. We honor you too… This is a day about remembering the price as well as the gift. Yes, the gift. The gift of freedom all veterans fought for, and are still fighting for today. This gift of freedom…all gave some, and some gave all.

Remember this Mr. President.

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#WORSTRESPONDERS

SHARE. SHARE. SHARE. SHARE

Support the first responders bill that is in congress NOW! It will extend the medical benefits of those who selflessly and courageously were at ground zero on 9/11/2001 in an instant. Their medical needs from working tirelessly in toxic conditions are critical. All you have to do is contact your Senators and Representatives. You don’t even need to call or write. Just post everywhere you can, on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and your blogs, #WORSTRESPONDERS.image

Here We Are

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Well, Veterans Day 2015 has come and gone. Actually, it was a weeklong celebration of gratitude for what our veterans have given for us all. With all we did, every place we went, the people we met, the thing that stood out beyond anything else were the veterans themselves.

I love to stand back and watch as one veteran approaches another–whether they have met before or not– and without hesitation they reach out with an automatic acceptance and a camaraderie of spirit, which those of us on the “outside” cannot comprehend.

We try to see inside the heart of our war fighters–our sons and daughters, our spouses, our family members, our friends–as we try to pry from their shielded memories, from those thoughts that haunt them, wanting desperately to understand that which we cannot.

What we can do is simple. We can listen. We can observe. On one occasion, I was attending an event where there were wounded warriors and caregivers mingling within a crowded room. A room that was buzzing with warriors coming together with a release of spirit that only happens within the ranks of those who have served. And the caregivers huddling together to share their own joys and burdens. Again a closed group that only exists because of circumstances that redefined their own lives.

At one point I was standing in a hallway, waiting on a friend, when a young woman in uniform entered and stood across from me. I looked at her and saw someone who was desperately trying to hold down a full-blown panic attack. All she said was, “There are so many people.” I asked her to breathe with me. In through the nose and out through the mouth. We continued this breathing in unison for a couple of minutes. She watched me, as I watched her, with each motion in this simple taking of each breath.

Everything outside of that hall disappeared for a few moments. That was what she needed. Time to reach inside and find that strength within herself, which she had lost sight of in that crowded room. We parted not knowing each other’s names, only a shared moment of awareness.

That is the way we can help. We don’t need to know the why or the what. All we need to do is listen and observe. The answer will become clear. Then we act. And a bond is made.

NOVEMBER SPECIAL

DO YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AND GIVE BACK TO VETERANS!!!

For every one of my books purchased through Amazon, or myself, during the month of November,

$1.00 will be donated to THE BOB WOODRUFF FOUNDATION

and $1.00 will be donated to OPERATION MEND

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THE OTHER SIDE OF WAR–PAPERBACK ONLY

A MOTHER’S SIDE OF WAR–PAPERBACK OR HARDCOVER

Contact me by email- alwaysamarinemom@yahoo.com or text-(405)818-7490

Operation Mend

Some of you have never heard of Operation Mend. It is one of the smaller charitable organizations, and it is based at UCLA. If you have read A Mother’s Side of War or The Other Side of War then you know how this organization was founded. Their focus is to treat the most severely wounded and disfigured post 9/11 veterans.

Throughout the chapters that deal with the founding and the purpose of Operation Mend, you will find this is a very unique organization. They not only treat the warrior, but they help to heal their families too. How do they do this? With the love and compassion that comes from the Buddy Family program.

Aaron was the first patient of Operation Mend. And as Willie Giest on the Today Show said,”Aaron has become the face of Operation Mend.” That is a literal statement. The physicians had to rebuild Aaron’s face. This took about 25 surgeries and millions of donated time and money? This brought the number of surgeries to 64 that Aaron has endured.

Marine combat correspondent Cpl. Aaron Mankin was badly burned by a roadside bomb in Iraq, ten years ago. He was wearing his googles when the Amphibious Assault Vehicle (AAV) exploded. These saved his eyes from the fire. But the burns below the googles were severe, as were the burns on both arms and hands.

Without the generous donation of time from the surgeons, and donated monies for the care of this nations wounded warriors, I can honestly say that our lives would be so much less in so many ways. I say we, because while Aaron received the best medical care this country has to offer, I was being cared for by our Buddy Family. When Aaron was up to it, after a surgery, we were spoiled by the original Buddy Family.

We were the first to enter this program that didn’t have a name yet. It did not take long for the perfect name to emerge. And the Buddy Family program grew as more veterans came to seek treatment. Volunteers all over the Los Angles area were calling  to volunteer, to open their homes and hearts to a wounded warrior and their family. This helped to bring families together to heal.

For the rest of the story on Aaron’s recovery and our family’s healing, purchase a book through Amazon. For every book purchased in the month of November, $1.00 will be donated to Operation Mend and $1.00 will go to the Bob Woodruff foundation. That is $2.00 that will be donated from the sale of A Mother’s Side of War (Hardcover or Paperback) and The Other Side of War (Paperback only) rom Amazon throughout the month of November. The perfect Christmas gift!!!

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I Found My Voice

“I found my voice,” is the statement that I have heard most often from the caregivers of our wounded warriors. I have even said it myself. My son stayed up all night when he read the manuscript for my book. He did not remember everything in those early weeks of his recovery. When he came to the chapter where I fired his army doctor, in an army hospital, on an army base, because I had “found my voice,” he asked if I REALLY did??? Yes, I did. It did not matter that I didn’t have the authority, my son’s welfare was all the authority I needed.

The majority of caregivers are wives, spouses, significant others, who have found themselves thrust into an unexpected role that is impossible to imagine. Some caregivers that I have come into contact with are angry, and others are just plain scared. So many of them have sent their loved ones off to war just to have them returned back in a state that they have trouble defining. Some have physical injuries, others have post traumatic stress issues, and many are plagued with both.

There are times when all the medical needs and the psychological issues are so overwhelming that the families are at risk of not surviving, and many do not. The “leaders” of their homes have difficulty in just dealing with their own lives let alone thinking about the running of their households. That’s when the wives are put in the position of having to take care of their children, their financial dealings, and their husbands needs, all while working outside the home, which can be devastating.

Think for a moment, about marrying your high school sweetheart, having a child or two, and learning to live the military life. Moving frequently isn’t conducive to forming close friendships. As they watch their husband, their best friend, leave for war, never do they consider that the person who would return home might not be the same person who left months before. War changes all…

The preparations have been made in case the war fighter does not survive. The paperwork, the wills, the last wishes have all been recorded. Somehow, it never enters our minds that severe injury could be the outcome. That they may need to redefine their future, the future of their family, the future of their children. The needs of their wounded are now their first consideration. For many this is more than they can bear, and the marriages fail.

It is our responsibility to lift up the staggering number of families that are in jeopardy. With each warrior who becomes isolated, suicide becomes an option they consider. Can you live with this outcome? I can not. Operation Mend is one organization that is taking on the task of helping these “at risk” warriors. The Bob Woodruff Foundation and Operation Homefront are others that reach out to warrior families. Other organizations like IAVA have hot lines set up, staffed 24/7, to talk with the warrior or their family members when life spirals out of control. If you can gift to any crises organization, then you must. For their sake and yours.

When you give of yourself to any wounded warrior and their family, you will find that your own heart will begin to heal in a place that you didn’t even know was in need.

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Our Scars Our Choice

Our scars, inside or out, only show where we have been. But, they do not dictate where we are going. That is our choice. Choose well. Be an example. Share where you have been. Give.

When Boys Become Solders, Life Becomes History

I have heard and read this statement many times. But when it became my son, my marine, only then did I feel the power in this simple phrase.

When our children, our spouses, our friends, go to fight battles to secure freedom, their lives, as well as ours, become so much more than we could have ever imagined. I’m not just talking about my son, about our family, I’m talking about all of our warriors and their loved ones.

My youngest child, Marine Cpl. Aaron P. Mankin, has been thrust into the media spotlight in a way that we could never have antisapated. Aaron has a natural ability to put into words the hard truths that we all need to try and understand. With his wit, and unexpected delivery, he makes us laugh as he draws us in to the reality of the wounded warriors life. He is making history.

As you listen to Aaron’s captivating personality, you find that you no longer see the scars that he proclaims to be badges of honor. All warriors who return home have their own scars that need to heal. These may be scars that are visible, but the majority of veterans have scars that can not be seen. This fact will be written in our history books.

These unseen scars carry the devastating power to destroy individuals and their families. We must become a nation that takes on the responsibility of helping these warriors who suffer from PTSD. If we do not reach out to these warriors, to these families, and help in any way possible, then we are murders through our complacency. Yes, I said we are murders. This could be our history.

If we turn our backs on the fact that death by suicide is claiming a warrior every hour of every day, then we are nothing! We have no future as a country, as a society, as a community, or as a family. We are nothing without compassion. Compassion to reach out and help our veterans. Is this the kind of history lesson you want your children to learn in school?

It is in our hands as individuals to make that contact, to listen with an understanding ear, to watch for the signs that are leading those who suffer down a dark and lonely road. We must be a light in that darkness. If not you…then who? We make our own history.

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War Changes Lives

Everyday those who have been changed by war struggle. When a warrior is injured, there is a multitude of family, friends, and communities who are forever changed. The roadside bomb that tore through my sons life, tore through mine, and all those who love him as well. We are the ones you don’t see, the ones who were left behind, the ones who are dealing with our own wounds, while caring for our nations wounded.

We must ask ourselves, “How am I going to live my life today.” We can’t change our yesterdays, tomorrow is a day away, so, today is where we can choose to make a difference.

Live your life today without regret, put yesterday behind you, and look forward to your tomorrow with peace.

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THE OTHER SIDE OF WAR – A MOTHER’S SIDE OF WAR

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THE OTHER SIDE OF WAR and A MOTHER’S SIDE OF WAR are the same book, but under different titles. I decided to offer the book under this other title in order to raise awareness that this is a book about healing after war. It doesn’t speak only to mothers. It is a story that warriors, spouses, and older children can relate too. Those from all walks of life will relate to this family that has been affected by war. The warriors are not the only ones who have been injured and must find their own place of healing. Families, friends and communities have been forever changed by those injured while serving.

This true story was written with the intent to help those who are hurting. As well as to educate those who don’t have a military connection, and have no idea about the hardships that our heroes and their families are going through on a daily basis.

I have released both titles in paperback at cost, $5.00 plus shipping, if purchased through me at alwaysamarinemom@yahoo.com.

There are several organizations who will be giving the books out at Christmas, retreats, and adding them to gift bags at fund raisers and year end meetings. Others are ordering just for themselves.

Please consider gifting this book to those you know who may need a look into the world of our wounded, and the remarkable, heroic, efforts of people who are eager to help. The message is “You are not alone,” to those who are in the midst of their own post war lives.

Please spread the word.