Month: May 2016

THE MIRROR TEST

When the mail came one day about two weeks ago, my husband dropped  magazines, some ad papers, and two packages at my feet. I reached down to pick one of the packages up, thinking they were some quilting supplies I had ordered. But, as I lifted one of them off the floor it was obviously a book. The second package was addressed to Aaron.

I had been contacted several months earlier by a marine who had met Aaron in 2009. Reece Lodder was having trouble getting hold of Aaron, so, he reached out to me. He was trying to obtain permission for the use of some photos and quotes for a book that he was helping to edit and research. I sent a text to Aaron and he did not object. Over the next couple of months, Reece and I exchanged several emails as I continued to give permission on Aaron’s behalf. But, he never reveled the title or content of this book, which I found admix that pile of magazines and advertisements.

The book I held in my hands was THE MIRROR TEST, by J. Kael Weston. When I opened the cover I found a note on the title page:

Dear Diana,

Thank you for writing your book and for your help in support of this one. Families like yours make this nation great. 

Sincerely,

Kael Weston                                  (See page 438) OP Mend Ch.

I had no idea that he had been in touch with UCLA Operation Mend. I was flipping  through pages, wondering what was on page 438, and eager to read the chapter he had dedicated to the organization that had done so much for Aaron. I read through the pages where Kael had interviewed Ron and Dana Katz. Then, I was overwhelmed, speechless, I literally stopped breathing for a moment, when I came to the paragraph that started,  Diana Mankin Phelps, Aaron’s mother…My name in this book…what an honor. I’m humbled… On the designated page, he mentioned my book, A Mother’s Side of War, along with a couple of quotes from me. The last sentence in this paragraph told that I also maintain a blog, this blog, Writing To Heal

J. Kael Weston represented the United States for more than ten years as a State Department official. He received one of their highest awards, the Secretary of State’s Medal of Heroism, that acknowledged his multi-year work in Fallujah with Marines.

The first sentence in the Preface reads; ” I first met Marine Corporal Aaron Mankin in Fallujah in early 2005, just before he lost most of his face in the Iraq War.” You can see how this book grabbed my attention. He goes on to describe Aaron as, “professional in bearing, with cobalt eyes, square jaw, high-and-tight haircut, showed maturity and possessed an eloquence that belied his youthful age.” Aaron’s story of injury and healing is just one thread throughout this book about war and resilience. But it is so much more, as the author turns the mirror on our nation, on our policies and directives, how we look at our country, and how others see us.

THE MIRROR TEST is something that you may have heard Aaron talk about in his interviews and speeches. How he willingly ignored the mirror in his hospital room for weeks, not wanting to see the truth of his injuries. And after the tears, after the anger, after his realization that who he is on the inside had not been changed, and finally with acceptance as he embraced that figure in the mirror – Aaron passed THE MIRROR TEST.

Kael spent seven years on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan. He landed in Baghdad in 2003 and was embedded with the marines by 2004 in Fallujah. This book is important, essential, for us to understand the other sides of war. The side of the civilians who lived in a country devastated by war, the side of Iraq’s political advisors to us, the side of Iraq’s military who stood shoulder-to-shoulder with our service men and women, the side of those who were given-assigned-the task of rebuilding a nation and her communities, and the side that describes the emotional toll on all, are just a few of the reasons why this book is one that had to be written. And must be read!

THE MIRROR TEST – J. KAEL WESTON 

Release Date-May 24, 2016

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My Big Brother

My brother, Keith Alan Lindsey, would have been 64 today. He passed very unexpectedly 15 years ago, leaving the love of his life and two daughters. I can’t tell you how heartbroken, confused and just plain angry I was when I got that call. We were all inconsolable… He had a military service as he was in the Air Force before he finished his Masters Degree.

My brother was two years older than me, and bigger than life in my eyes. For the first few years of my life he was my world. It broke my heart when he started school, leaving me without a companion, a playmate. I would stand, with my mother, at the end of our driveway and watch for him to come over the hill on his way back home. We were living in Cortez, Colorado on the outskirts of an Indian reservation. I spent a lot of my time while Keith was in school watching the women, with their babies tied on their backs, as they walked by our home.

Keith was on this earth for 49 years, and touched more lives than anyone I know. I’ll bet he even touched each of your lives. If you have ever gone to the post office and looked at the screen showing how much your package weighs, or how much you owe, my Keith did that. He brought the US Postal Service into the world of technology. (Granted there have been many upgrades since he first brought them online.)

My brother and his family spent approximately 14 months, maybe longer, in India. Keith had the task of teaching their technicians how to read and maintain their countries very first weather satellite. Predicting and warning India when the devastating monsoons would come, saved countless lives.

In the years before he passed, Keith was heavily involved with NASA and the International Space Station. He was working on the power systems. He traveled to other countries who were assigned to make pieces of the power systems to make sure they all fit together properly. As the space station evolved, Keith would teach the astronauts how to install each piece as it was sent up on the shuttle. To get that weightless effect, they would go down in a ninety foot deep pool. That is how Keith, a certified diver, would teach them.

Keith was one who sat in those arenas at NASA watching the astronauts as they worked. He would often call our mother to tell her about each mission and its success. I remember one call when he told her they only lost one wrench that floated away, lost in space.

All in all, I’m very proud to be the sister of this incredible man!

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Unlike Any Other Day

Mothers Day is such a spacial time of year.

We not only take the time to tell our mothers how much we appreciate and love them, but we think about our children and who they have grown to be.

We reminisce on our own childhoods, our brothers and sisters, our friends, and our relationships with our mothers growing up. We remember the stories our mothers told us about what it was like when they were growing up.

It’s really a day about family. The ones who are gone and those that we watch as they live their lives everyday. The mothers our daughters are, and the fathers our sons have become, are in our thoughts.

All those whom we hold deep within our own hearts, our family, our friends, and those who have become family to us, are thought of on this special day.

This Mothers Day, which is unlike any other day of the year.